Have the Potters got feet of clay

 

As the spectre of relegation looms for Stoke, Romilly Evans thinks they will benefit from a return to traditional values...

 

The current spate of TV talent shows is meant to embody the theory that anything is possible if you work hard, set lofty goals and dare to dream. Heck, you don't even need to work that hard. Of course, they are even more eloquent at demonstrating that if you work hard set lofty goals and dare to dream, that you can also fall flat on your face.

 

The binary outcome of these programmes speaks to the dichotomy. Win and it's a six-figure salary with Sir Alan, a recording contract, even a land of your own for Technicolor Dreamcoat fans. Lose and it's a bus fare back to the halls of obsolescence and data entry. Polarising people's fate in this way makes for perfect voyeuristic viewing.

 

The Premier league is little different in this regard. Champions on high, or relegation to the murky depths. It's the province of pub banter, Twitter trending and watercooler procrastination. But the top flight also houses another show which celebrates the mire of mediocrity in which most teams reside. No Hell's Kitchen, no Heaven's Gate, instead it's limbo for these lost souls wandering the earth with no place to go, neither up nor down.

 

In fact, one team have become so associated with such aggressively average achievement in recent years that this show might as well be called Stuck In The Middle With Stoke. Sure, it may not initially sound like a ratings-winner (Syco have wisely declined to secure the rights) but there are even accolades to be found in being run-of-the-mill.

 

After all, Premier League survival is not a golden ticket to be sniffed at. And Stoke have made a habit of going about their business, without troubling anyone - least of all their shareholders who have never been saddled with the debt, not wage bill of many of their shoot-for-the-stars rivals.

 

On the contrary, The Potters have found some value in knowing their limitations. It's a value which ranks them, at the last count, as the 12th most spendthrift team in the division. Which is just another way of saying mid-table. Haven't we been here before?

 

Perhaps therein lies the rub. Because after a recent run in the highest echelon, it appears the fans and the Britannia are beginning to become restless with a contemptibly familiar fate. For each of the last four campaigns they have accumulated 45, 47, 46 and 45 points, with finishing positions  - a slow and steady rate of accrual which rivals a Blue Peter Totaliser for weekly gains. However, the jackpot target is somewhat less exciting.

 

Asked to forget Europe and ponder the cold comfort of staying up, it's hard not to feel some sympathy the City faithful. Especially after just one win in their last seven league games at the Britannia Stadium. Three of those results have ended in defeat, most notably Saturday's dispiriting capitulation to fellow strugglers Aston Villa, where Matt Lowton's pathfinder condemned Tony Pulis to perhaps his first relegation fight since promotion.

 

It's a mark of how well Pulis and his team have previously performed that few have remotely questioned his tenure. Even the formerly untouchable Arsene Wenger has attracted more critical heat. However, after another woeful performance - and one victory I their last 13 games in total - the doubting Thomases are finally asking to see the holes in his defence. There's even talk of Stoke free-falling into oblivion.

 

The truth, however, is slightly more prosaic. The Britannia remains a relative fortress for the Potters and despite their recent slump in fortunes they arte arguably still on track for mid-table mediocrity and a points total in the low 40s. The problem has been scoring goals and turning draws in triumph, particularly at home where those draws ties are mounting up (only three losses but seven ties).

 

Up front, their strike partnership of Kenwyne Jones and Jon Walters certainly aren't Butch and Sundance. In fact, they more closely resemble the original Odd Couple. Air-shots aplenty, mindless meandering into crowded spaces where the ball doesn't follow, even the occasional petulant squabble. Their lack of communication rivals feuding siblings.

 

It's a problem Pulis must sort. But with the consistent backing of chairman Peter Coates, he assuredly will. Despite some big money signings in recent seasons (Wilson Palacios, Peter Crouch, Charlie Adam) this Stoke side remain anything but a soft touch. Albeit one far removed from the route-one-throw-in-two Rory Delap days.

 

That said, perhaps safe passage will arrive by returning to more traditional values and the consensus view of Stoke. Dispense with guile and finesse and resolve never to trouble the top half of the table - as hardy a flower as anything that perennially flourishes in the foreboding winter of the north.

 

When a Stoke fansite collated all the Premier League predictions from the national papers at the beginning of the term, the average position foretold for the club was 14th. Stoke have been doing average for a long time. And 14th place is where they currently reside in the ladder.  None of this commentary denotes any paucity of ambition on the Potters' behalf. But perhaps daring to dream was the wrong strategy this season. There's enough pressure and expectation already in middle-rung dwelling.

 

So while Stoke City may well be in a rut, at least it's a fur-lined one. There's some comfort in that.

 

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